Friday, January 15, 2010

For Those Who Grieve

I have had some grief in my life, and mourned the loss of those I loved, and while I do not compare that to the incomparable loss of losing a child, I feel I have had a small introduction into the world of grief.

It is a process, often which lasts a lifetime.

A dear friend of mine lost her Grandpa this week. Not only has my heart been sore for her sake, as she processes the fresh loss of a man she knew and loved all her life, but it has brought again the reminder of my own grief in losing my Grandpa last year.

On the way to the funeral today, Caleb said to me unexpectedly, "Remember at Grandpa Tice's funeral, when they played the tape of him singing Amazing Grace? Well now when I hear that song it makes me think of him and sometimes it's a little sad."

Yes honey, I understand that. Grief is a strange thing. It catches you unexpectedly.

I've been reflecting on how to reach out to those who are experiencing grief. I wanted to share a series of articles on the subject titled, "How to Help Your Grieving Friend", by a young family who experienced the loss of their precious baby girl.

I was thinking this morning of my miscarriage and the initial shock and confusion I felt. I was depressed and terribly, terribly sad. A friend named Bonnie reached out to me in the kindest way possible. Having gone through similar circumstances, she knew how I was feeling.

I was in bed, weak and recovering, and thinking the world was falling apart. She came into my little home, bringing a beautiful long stemmed rose in memory of my child, and a book on grief. She hugged me, and pulled up a chair to my bed and sat with me for a long time...quiet, supportive. She listened. When I asked her, "Why does everything have to die?" like a small petulant child, she reassured me that God was still in control even when I didn't understand His ways. She acknowledged my grief and didn't offer me platitudes. She was just there.

We will all deal with some measure of grief in our lives. Those we love will face it as well. Thankfully, we have a Comforter who is always faithful. May we be compassionate vessels of His love.

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