Sunday, February 26, 2012

"The More You Know, The More You Kohl's"

For starters, I love Kohl's, especially since it's about 2 minutes from my house, and it has great sales, but I do not understand their tag line. "The more you know, the more you Kohl's". Huh? That's just weird.

It's been ages since I've gone clothes shopping by myself. I ran out tonight while Tom and the kids were lounging around the house (and my $10 Kohl's cash was burning a hole in my wallet). I zipped through the juniors and misses racks and ended up in the dressing room with 30 items (slight exaggeration).

How is it that outfits look so cute on the rack, but totally deflate once you put them on in front of the mirror? Do they dim the lighting over the displays?

This fashion season, have you noticed the trend towards shirts which are short and very wide? What gives? I'm sure they look sweet hanging from wispy size two girls, but I tend to think they make the rest of us just look wide and short-waisted. I found a few with darling prints and tried them on because, as I remind my children on a daily basis, "We try new things in this house!" Okay, not going with that new thing.

Many of those shirts have extra folds over the arms which can give one the impression of wings. I couldn't stop staring at myself in the mirror while wearing shirt #10. My shoulders appeared abnormally large! And if I flapped my arms like so, I looked like an ostrich about to take off! Wheeee!

If you can pull off wearing the new style trend in shirts (which I also call The Artsy Shirts), I am truly impressed.

I consider myself fairly average. Not in the greatest shape, after 4 pregnancies and a lack of self-control in the exercise department, but not overly large or overly small (definitely not small), either. Not real short or real tall. Just average. And yet...not a single stinkin' thing fit in a range of sizes!!

I rushed over to the shoe department, having had a hankering for something cute and spring-ish and definitely feeling a little petulant. Since my feet look like small boats which have grounded and attached themselves to the ends of my legs, that's always a challenge. It also doesn't help that I have very narrow heels, so I tend to slip right out of the backs of shoes while walking.
I tried on a pair of heels that I fell in love with online (key word: online). The height of the heel in combination with my high arches made it look like my feet were in a perpetual state of springing forth, very much like one of Cinderella's step-sisters trying on the glass slipper.

Finally, after trying on both new additions and the winter sale shoes, and thinking I should embrace the ancient Chinese tradition of foot binding, I came across this little number which charmed me:

Until recently, I steered clear of wedges because I wasn't sure I wanted to walk around on cork board but then discovered, interestingly enough, they provide the right amount of support while giving the illusion that my boats, ah, feet, are slightly smaller than they actually are. And yay for a Kohl's sale combined with my Kohl's cash!

The more you know, the more you....oh nevermind.


  1. those shoes were definitely worth it all, soooooo cute!

  2. When you visit me in my new little house, we will go bargain hunting together, starting with Kohl's. :)

  3. "How is it that outfits look so cute on the rack, but totally deflate once you put them on in front of the mirror?"
    It is just because you are not shaped like a hanger. And we are thankful for that. :)